Oh, to be anyone else than who I am. To be the fun loving, high energy, life of the party, or maybe the extremely popular pretty girl, or how about the star athlete everyone adores. The book worm, the math genius, the computer nerd. Anyone but me.
Have you ever felt that way? I am sure we have all felt it to some degree, the urge, the desire, the envy to be someone we are not, even if it was only for a brief time or in response to a specific event.
We have a tendency to focus on our flaws and imperfections. We see the worst of ourselves. I am the quiet and shy girl, often invisible to the world. Insecure, and awkward. I over analyze and over process. I am over emotional at the wrong times, and too reserved at other times. I am less flexible than I try to convince myself. I take comments too personally. I try to please people far too often, and think of myself far more frequently than I would like to admit. I struggle connecting with people. (One of the many reasons I envy the high energy extremely extroverted personality type. They make it look so easy). I stumble over my words all the time, and more often than not, I have no words at all.
These are but a few of my many faults. They are a part of me, I resist them and even resent them at times, but these parts of me that I have despised are the exact components God has used to make me who I am. These deficiencies are what God has used to do His work so He gets all the glory.
No one ever thought the quiet and shy awkward girl standing in the corner barely noticed by anyone would ever be seen on stage standing before hundreds. Or how about that girl who could barely say a sentence without flipping words and stuttering over phrases, who would have ever thought she would one day be speaking into a microphone before a crowd. Could you see that insecure and overly reserved kid ever becoming a crazy animated children’s pastor?
This is who I am.
I could struggle to be someone I am not, or I could dare to be what God has designed me to be and allow Him to work through me despite my imperfections. This way no one could ever say I did anything on my own and God gets all the glory. After all, it is only God who could take an imperfect and flawed individual and make her into something valuable and useful.
I dare to be me. Who do you dare to be?